I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize