Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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