No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can I color on your dick again?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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