scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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