Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
