Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We're too hungover to prance.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
