It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
