I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
