The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
