look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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