Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
