U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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