No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
