Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
