Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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