dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
