how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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