I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
