Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
