i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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