so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
