if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
