I met the friendliest cop last night
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize