Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize