she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
