Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
