If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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