but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
