Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
