Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
