Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
