Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
