Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
