her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize