dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Holy shit dude........stairs
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