So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
