I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
