i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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