Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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