is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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