I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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