I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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