Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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