p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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