He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
