And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
