Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
