its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
