How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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