when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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