So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
