I just made out with a guy for $7.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
