yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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