Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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