I am midnight drunk by noon
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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