I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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