I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
