Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
