I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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