the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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